


Peter Pan: A Retelling (Theatrical Version)

by Hobbit4Lyfe



Category: Peter Pan (2003)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 10:05:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5201762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbit4Lyfe/pseuds/Hobbit4Lyfe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A retelling of the 2003 version of the movie. Liberties have been taken to fit a stuffed animal cast. Cowritten by my younger sister.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Scene 1

Music plays in background.  
Wendy: (Offstage.) Hi. I’m Wendy Darling. Everybody grows up. Except one boy I know. Peter Pan.  
Curtains open after the theme ends. Wendy, Michael, and John are sitting in the living room with their mom, dad, and aunt.  
Mr. Darling: I tell you, Wendy needs to be in a room without her brothers.  
Mrs. Darling: Why?  
Mr. Darling: Because of all those childish stories she tells about pirates, flying children, and that sort of thing.  
Wendy: Mom, Dad. You know we’re in the same room, don’t you?  
Aunt Sophie: I don’t think she needs to be moved. She has the Hidden Kiss.  
Michael and John: The one for the adventure of a lifetime?  
Aunt Sophie: Yes.  
Mr. Darling: Well, kids. Time for bed. Honey, we should be getting to the party.  
Wendy, Michael, and John: Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! Good night, Aunt Sophie!  
Curtain closes.  
Wendy: (Offstage.) Wondering where Peter is? He’s coming.


	2. Scene 2

Curtain opens. Wendy and her brothers are in their room.  
Wendy: …So Captain Hook fell down, down, down, until SPLASH! (Jumps off bed.) She fell in the water. Peter picked up Hook’s hat and switched it for his own.  
Peter’s shadow runs through the room.  
John: W–w–what was that?  
Peter: My stubborn shadow.  
Wendy: You should find it before Aunt Sophie finds it.  
Curtain closes. Music starts. Stuff shuffles around.  
Peter: Shadow? Where are you? Get back here! You’re going to get me found out!  
Music stops. Curtains open.  
Wendy: Maybe if you catch your shadow, I could sew you two together.  
Peter: OK!  
Peter catches his shadow. Wendy sews Peter and his shadow together.  
Wendy: There! All done.  
Peter: Thanks.  
Wendy: Mom and Dad say I must be moved from the nursery.  
Peter: They can’t do that! I know! I’ll take you to Never Land with me, to tell stories to my Lost Girls!  
Wendy: How do you know I tell stories?  
Peter: I hear you telling them to your brothers. I think they’re great!  
Wendy: How often do you come here?  
Peter: Almost every night. So, how about Never Land?  
Wendy: Only if Michael and John can come.  
Peter: OK! They can help with the stories!  
Wendy and Peter wake up Michael and John.  
Michael: (Sleepily.) What’s going on?  
Wendy: We’re running away to Never Land!  
John: But it doesn’t exist!  
Wendy: Oh. And Billy and Joe do?  
John: (Talking to the wall.) Sorry, guys.  
Peter: OK. All you need to fly is happy thoughts and fairy dust. Who wants to go first?  
Wendy, Michael, and John: Me! Me! Me! No! Me! Me me me!  
Peter: I’ll do eeny meeny miney mo. (As pointing to Wendy, Michael, and John, each one on separate word.) Eeny–meeny–miney–mo–catch–Captain–Hook–by–the–hook–if–she–hollers–let–her–go–eeny– meeny–miney–mo. OK. First Michael, then Wendy, then John. Climb up onto the bed, get a running start with happy thoughts in mind, then jump! Hold on. Where’s Tinker Bell? Tinke? Tinke? Hey! Tinke!! Get over here!  
Tinker Bell flies in.  
Michael: Ice cream, candy, chocolate, brownies, and SNACKS!  
Tinker Bell is flung at Michael. Michael starts floating.  
Michael: YAY! I’m doing it!  
Wendy: My turn! Uumm… fairies, pirates, flying, fluffy clouds, Indians, and puppies!  
Same procedure as Michael, but for Wendy.  
Wendy: Wahoooo!  
John: OK! My turn!! Teddy, Mommy, Daddy, Aunt Sophie, Michael, and Wendy!  
Tinker Bell process for John.  
John: Teddy! We’re doing it! We’re flying!  
Peter: Now that you can fly, let’s go! Single file. After me.  
The children fly out in this order: Peter, Tinker Bell, Wendy, John, and Michael. Michael picks up a hat as he flies offstage. The curtain closes.  
Wendy: (Offstage.)   
Oh, we’ll be in Never Land soon.


	3. Scene 3

The curtain opens. Wendy and the gang are on top of a cloud.  
John: Is that Never Land?  
Peter: Yep. Wendy, you wait here while Michael, John, and I find the Lost Girls.  
Peter, Michael, and John jump off the cloud and go offstage. The Lost Girls walk in. Music plays.  
Little Crickitt: Look! A Wendybird! Let’s shoot it down!  
The Lost Girls shoot arrows. All miss but Little Hobbit.  
Little Hobbit: Yay! I got it!  
The Lost Girls run away, giggling. Curtain closes. Wendy falls off the cloud.  
Wendy: YAAAAHHH!!!  
(BOOM!!!!)  
The curtain opens. Wendy is lying down, thinking she’s dead. The Lost Girls are back.  
Cloud: I think it’s dead. Slightly Soiled, go get Peter!  
Slightly Soiled runs offstage and gets Peter.  
Little Hobbit: Why does Peter have to know? Let’s just eat it!  
Peter and Slightly Soiled walk onstage.  
Peter: Eat what? (Looks at Wendy.) WHAT DID YOU DO TO WENDY?  
Little Crickitt:  
We shot it. And it’s not a Wendy. It’s a Wendybird.  
Peter: You’ve got a lot to learn in your life. Now who shot her?  
Little Crickitt: It.  
Little Hobbit: I did. I’m ready for my reward, praise, anything!  
Peter: Reward!? She’s a puppy. Like me.  
Little Crickitt: You mean it’s name is Peter, and it wears a hat, and it has a sword, and it wears a suit, and it’s a beagle?  
Little Hobbit: I didn’t know that beagles came in white fur!  
Peter: That’s ‘cause they don’t! And her name is Wendy, she wears a ponytail, she does not have a sword, she wears a dress, and she’s a Westie!  
Wendy slowly opens her eyes.  
Wendy: I’m not dead?  
Little Hobbit: You're not dead?  
Cloud: I was wrong? I’m never wrong! I’ve only been wrong 155 million times!  
Wendy: Where’s Michael and John?  
Peter: I thought they were here!  
The curtain closes.  
John: (Offstage.) Wondering where we are?  
Michael: (Offstage.)   
We’re about to show you.


	4. Scene 4

The curtain opens. Michael and John step into a trap and are being hung upside down from a tree branch.  
Michael and John: WHOA!  
Princess Redbird: I caught something. Who are you?  
Michael: I’m Michael.  
John: And I'm John.  
Princess Redbird lets them go. Captain Hook grabs Princess Redbird and takes her to her lair.  
Captain Hook: Aha! I’ve got you. Now tell me. Where is Peter Pan?  
Princess Redbird: Sorry. I don’t know.  
Captain Hook: What do you mean you “don’t know!?” Smee said he was positive you’d know.  
Captain Hook looks at Smee.  
Smee: I thought I was positive!  
Captain Hook: I’ll let you go... FOR NOW!


	5. Scene 5

The curtain closes. When it reopens, Peter and Wendy are watching for mermaids.  
Wendy: I’ve always wanted to see a mermaid!  
Peter: Look! There’s two!  
Mermaids pop up–heads only. They come towards Wendy and Peter. They scare Wendy. Peter pulls out his sword and jumps on the rock that he and Wendy are hiding behind.  
Peter: GYAAAAH!!!!  
The mermaids go away.  
Peter: Let’s go now!


	6. Scene 6

The curtain closes. When it reopens, Wendy and Peter meet up with Michael and John in a cave.  
Wendy: Guys!  
Captain Hook and Smee sneak up.  
Peter: Uh, guys. So much for the family reunion. It’s Hook and Smee.  
Captain Hook: Looks like we’ve got you now, Pan!  
Smee: Yeah! Gotcha!  
Captain Hook: Shut up, Smee!  
Smee: Sorry. Oops!  
Hook and Smee get into a fight. Peter, Wendy, and the gang run away. Hook and Smee chase Peter and the gang. Music starts. Ticky Tock Ensemble comes in.  
Ticky Tock Ensemble: (Singing.) Tick tock. Ticky tock. That’s what it says. Tick tock. Ticky tock. Tick tock tock.  
The curtain closes after Ensemble leaves and music ends.


	7. Intermission

Music starts after curtain closes. Director comes out.  
Director: Thank you for watching the first half of Peter Pan. We hope you stay for Part Two. It is time for the intermission.  
15 minute break. Lights flicker 1–3 minutes before the play starts up again. Music after the 15 minutes.


	8. Scene 7

Music starts. After the music ends, the curtains open up into the Darling Family living room again.  
Mrs. Darling: My kids! Wendy! Michael! John! Even John’s little bear! Where are they?!  
Mr. Darling: They’ll be all right. I’m sure of it.  
Mrs. Darling: NO THEY WON’T! NOBODY CAN BE SURE IF THEY WILL OR NOT!  
Aunt Sophie: Maybe you should give the police a call. They’ve been gone all summer! We need to find them before school starts up again.  
Mr. Darling picks up the phone and dials 9–9–9.  
MR. Darling: Hello? Scotland Yard? Missing Persons Unit, please. Yes. Sergeant Ramsay, I’d like to report three missing children. No, the kidnapping is not in progress. This isn’t even a kidnapping. I’m George Darling. They’ve been missing since... mid June, I think it was. The missing children are my daughter and two sons: Wendy, Michael, and John. Well, my wife and I were out and my sister–in–law, Sophie, was watching the children. She went to check on them, and they were gone! What! What do you mean ‘Standard Procedure?!?’ What’s standard about three children disappearing out of their own bedroom?! OK. I’ll call if I have any evidence. Thanks.  
The curtain closes.


	9. Scene 8

When the curtain reopens, the Pirate Crew Ensemble, Captain Hook, and Smee are on the deck of the ship.  
Pirate Crew Ensemble: (Singing.) Capture Wendy, capture Redbird. So Captain Hook can get revenge. Capture Tinker Bell, too. So Captain Hook can get revenge. Capture Little Hobbit, capture Cloud. So Captain Hook can get revenge. Capture Slightly Soiled, capture Little Crickitt. So Captain Hook can get revenge. Capture Michael, capture John. So Captain Hook can get revenge. Capture allies, capture Pan. Capture allies to get revenge.  
Captain Hook: First we take out the allies of Peter Pan. Then we can easily catch him!  
Smee: I don’t see how that’ll work. Explain it again.  
Captain Hook: If we get his allies first, he’ll look for them. Then we’ll nab him! But that’s only Plan B.  
Smee: Plan A is... what?  
Captain Hook: Poisoning him! HA! (Singing.) Capture Wendy, capture Redbird. So Captain Hook can get revenge. Capture Tinker Bell, too. So Captain Hook can get revenge.  
Smee: (Singing.) Capture Little Hobbit, capture Cloud. So Captain Hook can get revenge. Capture Slightly Soiled, capture Little Crickitt. So Captain Hook can get revenge.  
Captain Hook: (Singing.) Capture Michael, capture John. So Captain Hook can get revenge.  
Smee: (Singing.) Capture allies, capture Pan.  
Captain Hook and Smee: Capture allies to get revenge.  
The curtain closes. Clock starts and continues until the next scene.  
Captain Hook: (Offstage.) Oh great. The stupid alligator again.  
Smee: (Offstage.) What alligator?  
Captain Hook: (Offstage.) Just an annoying pest that wants me dead. Like Pan.


	10. Scene 9

The curtain opens. Peter and the gang are in his lair. It’s dinner time.  
Wendy: Michael. John. Do you remember your parents?  
Michael: Yeah.  
John: They’re in the room.  
Wendy: OK. Who’s Dad?  
Michael: Peter!  
Wendy: And Mom?  
John: You, Wendy!  
Wendy: Wrong, and wrong.  
Peter, Lost Girls, Michael, and John: WHAT?!  
Wendy: Michael, John. Our real parents are George and Brittney Darling. Don’t you remember Aunt Sophie?  
Michael: Oh, yeah.  
John: I want to go home!  
Peter: Well, time to go outside!  
The curtain closes.


	11. Scene 10

When the curtain opens, John is sitting with his teddy bear in one hand, without the ears, and the ears in the other hand.  
John: Aww, man! Teddy’s ears fell off!  
Princess Redbird comes in.  
Princess Redbird: Hey! Maybe I can fix Teddy! Oh, darn. I forgot my sewing kit.  
Music starts. Indian Tribe Ensemble comes in.  
Princess Redbird: There it is. Thank you, Tiger Lily.  
One of the people in the ensemble gives Princess Redbird her sewing kit.  
Princess Redbird: John, hand me Teddy and her ears. I won’t hurt her. She’s getting her ears back.  
John hands Teddy to Princess Redbird. Music starts when Redbird starts sewing.  
Indian Tribe Ensemble: Fix the little bear. Warrior. Save the little bear. Warrior. Love the little bear. Warrior. The cute little bear. Warrior.  
Music ends. Teddy is fixed.  
Princess Redbird: There. She’s done.  
John: Thanks, Princess Redbird! Come on, Teddy. Let’s go.  
John runs offstage. Curtain closes.  
Captain Hook: Fairies don’t exist. HA! Now the fairy escort of Pan’s little friends is dead. I wonder if they will walk into their traps.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Peter Pan: A Retelling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5201942) by [Hobbit4Lyfe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hobbit4Lyfe/pseuds/Hobbit4Lyfe)




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